\\\
Gerald with his family at Emily's wedding: Left to right: David, Joanne.
Mickey, Emily, Mark, Nancy, Gerald, Nancy's mom, Matiel and
in front, Daniel and Jacob.
David's Eulogy for His Dad
At the outset, on behalf of my family, we want to thank everyone for being
here today in-person and streaming. Thank you, Rabbi Case for driving down
from Columbia and your counsel in this difficult time. Thank you also to
Amedisys Hospice of Columbia for their outstanding care and compassion that
they have shown to our Dad and our family. Our Dad had this phrase that
he used to say when we were making a tough decision:
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE I used to hate when he said it because it usually meant that he didn’t like the decision we had made. Like when I was going out too late at night in high school, or when I called him from college after he was many years removed from practicing dentistry and asked him to write a dental excuse because I had over slept for a lab science class.
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE. It’s the name of a song by Marvin Gaye, but it's really about having your conscience influence your decision making since conscience can both influence what a person believes is right and also how a person decides what is right. What’s ironic about the frequency with which we received this guidance from our Dad, was that despite how often he repeated the phrase, my Dad’s mental health disability never allowed his conscience to be his own guide. Nevertheless, we tried to be guided by Dad in our own decision making. Learning that if your conscious is built on the right foundation including love and respect for yourself, then your conscious can be always your guide.
We loved our Dad. He was the best Dad for us. There was nothing that my Dad wouldn’t do for us. He was there to coach my basketball games and sat through all of Emily’s plays and acting performances. He always came to play in the water with us whether it was the ocean or pool. He was the classic Dad: willing to drive the JCC van to BBYO conventions, always trying to joke around with our friends, and didn’t mind if 10-20 kids were playing sports in our front yard at all times. He taught us patience, devotion to Judaism, humility, and to be loyal to friends and family. Our Dad was gentle, kind, and never had a bad word to say about anyone.
He achieved the five crown jewels in life: Family, Friends, Successful Career, Impact on Community and Philanthropy. He was a terrific athlete, playing basketball and baseball as a kid, and mainly tennis as an adult. As a fellow lefty, pitcher and Jewish athlete, his favorite athlete was Sandy Koufax. He used to wear a kippah underneath his baseball hat for good luck and to honor him. He took us to South Carolina football, baseball, and basketball games during our childhood.
He was a wonderful grandfather too. Going to Jacob and Daniel’s hockey games, and taking Celia and Sadie to the park. He would shower them with all forms of candy but mainly Skittles and M&Ms. He loved sharing his sports knowledge with them and experiencing the joys of watching Emily and I grow into parenthood.
Not surprisingly, there’s not a person our Dad loved more than our Mom. They were married for almost 50 years after meeting in high school, providing an outstanding example for Emily and I to measure up to. Our Dad did it all and he did it his way. He was special in many different ways, but I want to share a few little quirks about my Dad that you may already know but make us laugh: (1) Our Dad is in the Nicorette Gum Hall of Fame. He has been chewing that gum for over 35 years. He is quite possibly the best customer Nicorette ever has or ever will have. We will continue to find little pieces of this gum in our house and cars for years to come. (2) Our Dad loved to gamble on sports. Basketball, baseball, golf, but mainly football. It started back in his Charleston days with great friends like Barry Lash and Oscar Hirsch. He did it through bookies and later online. Never losing much and often breaking even. He enjoyed just having a little action on the games to make it interesting. (3) Our Dad was obsessive about brushing and flossing his teeth. Sometimes up to 5-6 times per day. Always right after meals sitting on the couch or walking around the house.
And he was always drinking Diet Coke out of bottle that he had frozen and poured into two red solo cups. I bet there are still several frozen diet coke bottles in various fridges of our friends and family left by my Dad. These are some of the funny and special things that we will remember about our Dad. He also enjoyed politics and had a strong commitment to Israel. He was a man of fashion, style, and a true Mensch in every way.
That said, it’s important that you also know that our Dad suffered from severe depression and anxiety. He suffered mainly in silence for over 50 years until his Death. Mental illness prevented our Dad from recognizing the many beautiful things in his life. While on the outside it seemed that Dad had everything going for him, on the inside, he was often suffering from great anguish and pain. Seeing Dad battle this disease was very difficult to experience as his children, but even more difficult to experience because there was little any of us could do to make him better. Mental illness causes invisible wounds. It’s a silent killer.
Dad tried numerous forms of psychotherapy, medications, and brain stimulation treatment over the years all to no avail. Over the last 5 to 15 years, it had been clear that his depression and anxiety were treatment resistant. While my Dad ultimately passed away due to complications from a fall in March, his mental disability certainly accelerated his decline. Unlike other circumstances in individuals’ final days, I was able to talk to Dad up until the very end. We talked about a lot of things including this very day. He wanted everyone to know that he loved them and wants nothing but the best for them. His mental illness never got in the way of his love for friends and family. He was simply so sorry that he couldn’t be there for all of you into the future the way he would have wished. I know that there are a lot of lessons that we will take from my Dad moving forward. One of the most poignant is that you must love and respect yourself no matter what. You must find what makes you happy, and create your own happiness without relying upon others to do so. By doing so, then we can truly allow our conscious to be our guide
\\\
Gerald with his family at Emily's wedding: Left to right: David, Joanne.
Mickey, Emily, Mark, Nancy, Gerald, Nancy's mom, Matiel and
in front, Daniel and Jacob.
David's Eulogy for His Dad
At the outset, on behalf of my family, we want to thank everyone for being
here today in-person and streaming. Thank you, Rabbi Case for driving down
from Columbia and your counsel in this difficult time. Thank you also to
Amedisys Hospice of Columbia for their outstanding care and compassion that
they have shown to our Dad and our family. Our Dad had this phrase that
he used to say when we were making a tough decision:
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE I used to hate when he said it because it usually meant that he didn’t like the decision we had made. Like when I was going out too late at night in high school, or when I called him from college after he was many years removed from practicing dentistry and asked him to write a dental excuse because I had over slept for a lab science class.
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE. It’s the name of a song by Marvin Gaye, but it's really about having your conscience influence your decision making since conscience can both influence what a person believes is right and also how a person decides what is right. What’s ironic about the frequency with which we received this guidance from our Dad, was that despite how often he repeated the phrase, my Dad’s mental health disability never allowed his conscience to be his own guide. Nevertheless, we tried to be guided by Dad in our own decision making. Learning that if your conscious is built on the right foundation including love and respect for yourself, then your conscious can be always your guide.
We loved our Dad. He was the best Dad for us. There was nothing that my Dad wouldn’t do for us. He was there to coach my basketball games and sat through all of Emily’s plays and acting performances. He always came to play in the water with us whether it was the ocean or pool. He was the classic Dad: willing to drive the JCC van to BBYO conventions, always trying to joke around with our friends, and didn’t mind if 10-20 kids were playing sports in our front yard at all times. He taught us patience, devotion to Judaism, humility, and to be loyal to friends and family. Our Dad was gentle, kind, and never had a bad word to say about anyone.
He achieved the five crown jewels in life: Family, Friends, Successful Career, Impact on Community and Philanthropy. He was a terrific athlete, playing basketball and baseball as a kid, and mainly tennis as an adult. As a fellow lefty, pitcher and Jewish athlete, his favorite athlete was Sandy Koufax. He used to wear a kippah underneath his baseball hat for good luck and to honor him. He took us to South Carolina football, baseball, and basketball games during our childhood.
He was a wonderful grandfather too. Going to Jacob and Daniel’s hockey games, and taking Celia and Sadie to the park. He would shower them with all forms of candy but mainly Skittles and M&Ms. He loved sharing his sports knowledge with them and experiencing the joys of watching Emily and I grow into parenthood.
Not surprisingly, there’s not a person our Dad loved more than our Mom. They were married for almost 50 years after meeting in high school, providing an outstanding example for Emily and I to measure up to. Our Dad did it all and he did it his way. He was special in many different ways, but I want to share a few little quirks about my Dad that you may already know but make us laugh: (1) Our Dad is in the Nicorette Gum Hall of Fame. He has been chewing that gum for over 35 years. He is quite possibly the best customer Nicorette ever has or ever will have. We will continue to find little pieces of this gum in our house and cars for years to come. (2) Our Dad loved to gamble on sports. Basketball, baseball, golf, but mainly football. It started back in his Charleston days with great friends like Barry Lash and Oscar Hirsch. He did it through bookies and later online. Never losing much and often breaking even. He enjoyed just having a little action on the games to make it interesting. (3) Our Dad was obsessive about brushing and flossing his teeth. Sometimes up to 5-6 times per day. Always right after meals sitting on the couch or walking around the house.
And he was always drinking Diet Coke out of bottle that he had frozen and poured into two red solo cups. I bet there are still several frozen diet coke bottles in various fridges of our friends and family left by my Dad. These are some of the funny and special things that we will remember about our Dad. He also enjoyed politics and had a strong commitment to Israel. He was a man of fashion, style, and a true Mensch in every way.
That said, it’s important that you also know that our Dad suffered from severe depression and anxiety. He suffered mainly in silence for over 50 years until his Death. Mental illness prevented our Dad from recognizing the many beautiful things in his life. While on the outside it seemed that Dad had everything going for him, on the inside, he was often suffering from great anguish and pain. Seeing Dad battle this disease was very difficult to experience as his children, but even more difficult to experience because there was little any of us could do to make him better. Mental illness causes invisible wounds. It’s a silent killer.
Dad tried numerous forms of psychotherapy, medications, and brain stimulation treatment over the years all to no avail. Over the last 5 to 15 years, it had been clear that his depression and anxiety were treatment resistant. While my Dad ultimately passed away due to complications from a fall in March, his mental disability certainly accelerated his decline. Unlike other circumstances in individuals’ final days, I was able to talk to Dad up until the very end. We talked about a lot of things including this very day. He wanted everyone to know that he loved them and wants nothing but the best for them. His mental illness never got in the way of his love for friends and family. He was simply so sorry that he couldn’t be there for all of you into the future the way he would have wished. I know that there are a lot of lessons that we will take from my Dad moving forward. One of the most poignant is that you must love and respect yourself no matter what. You must find what makes you happy, and create your own happiness without relying upon others to do so. By doing so, then we can truly allow our conscious to be our guide
David's Eulogy for His Dad
At the outset, on behalf of my family, we want to thank everyone for being
here today in-person and streaming. Thank you, Rabbi Case for driving down
from Columbia and your counsel in this difficult time. Thank you also to Amedisys
Hospice of Columbia for their outstanding care and compassion that they have
shown to our Dad and our family. Our Dad had this phrase that he used to say
when we were making a tough decision:
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE I used to hate when he said it because it usually meant that he didn’t like the decision we had made. Like when I was going out too late at night in high school, or when I called him from college after he was many years removed from practicing dentistry and asked him to write a dental excuse because I had over slept for a lab science class.
LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE. It’s the name of a song by Marvin Gaye, but it's really about having your conscience influence your decision making since conscience can both influence what a person believes is right and also how a person decides what is right. What’s ironic about the frequency with which we received this guidance from our Dad, was that despite how often he repeated the phrase, my Dad’s mental health disability never allowed his conscience to be his own guide. Nevertheless, we tried to be guided by Dad in our own decision making. Learning that if your conscious is built on the right foundation including love and respect for yourself, then your conscious can be always your guide.
We loved our Dad. He was the best Dad for us. There was nothing that my Dad wouldn’t do for us. He was there to coach my basketball games and sat through all of Emily’s plays and acting performances. He always came to play in the water with us whether it was the ocean or pool. He was the classic Dad: willing to drive the JCC van to BBYO conventions, always trying to joke around with our friends, and didn’t mind if 10-20 kids were playing sports in our front yard at all times. He taught us patience, devotion to Judaism, humility, and to be loyal to friends and family. Our Dad was gentle, kind, and never had a bad word to say about anyone.
He achieved the five crown jewels in life: Family, Friends, Successful Career, Impact on Community and Philanthropy. He was a terrific athlete, playing basketball and baseball as a kid, and mainly tennis as an adult. As a fellow lefty, pitcher and Jewish athlete, his favorite athlete was Sandy Koufax. He used to wear a kippah underneath his baseball hat for good luck and to honor him. He took us to South Carolina football, baseball, and basketball games during our childhood.
He was a wonderful grandfather too. Going to Jacob and Daniel’s hockey games, and taking Celia and Sadie to the park. He would shower them with all forms of candy but mainly Skittles and M&Ms. He loved sharing his sports knowledge with them and experiencing the joys of watching Emily and I grow into parenthood.
Not surprisingly, there’s not a person our Dad loved more than our Mom. They were married for almost 50 years after meeting in high school, providing an outstanding example for Emily and I to measure up to. Our Dad did it all and he did it his way. He was special in many different ways, but I want to share a few little quirks about my Dad that you may already know but make us laugh: (1) Our Dad is in the Nicorette Gum Hall of Fame. He has been chewing that gum for over 35 years. He is quite possibly the best customer Nicorette ever has or ever will have. We will continue to find little pieces of this gum in our house and cars for years to come. (2) Our Dad loved to gamble on sports. Basketball, baseball, golf, but mainly football. It started back in his Charleston days with great friends like Barry Lash and Oscar Hirsch. He did it through bookies and later online. Never losing much and often breaking even. He enjoyed just having a little action on the games to make it interesting. (3) Our Dad was obsessive about brushing and flossing his teeth. Sometimes up to 5-6 times per day. Always right after meals sitting on the couch or walking around the house.
And he was always drinking Diet Coke out of bottle that he had frozen and poured into two red solo cups. I bet there are still several frozen diet coke bottles in various fridges of our friends and family left by my Dad. These are some of the funny and special things that we will remember about our Dad. He also enjoyed politics and had a strong commitment to Israel. He was a man of fashion, style, and a true Mensch in every way.
That said, it’s important that you also know that our Dad suffered from severe depression and anxiety. He suffered mainly in silence for over 50 years until his Death. Mental illness prevented our Dad from recognizing the many beautiful things in his life. While on the outside it seemed that Dad had everything going for him, on the inside, he was often suffering from great anguish and pain. Seeing Dad battle this disease was very difficult to experience as his children, but even more difficult to experience because there was little any of us could do to make him better. Mental illness causes invisible wounds. It’s a silent killer.
Dad tried numerous forms of psychotherapy, medications, and brain stimulation treatment over the years all to no avail. Over the last 5 to 15 years, it had been clear that his depression and anxiety were treatment resistant. While my Dad ultimately passed away due to complications from a fall in March, his mental disability certainly accelerated his decline. Unlike other circumstances in individuals’ final days, I was able to talk to Dad up until the very end. We talked about a lot of things including this very day. He wanted everyone to know that he loved them and wants nothing but the best for them. His mental illness never got in the way of his love for friends and family. He was simply so sorry that he couldn’t be there for all of you into the future the way he would have wished. I know that there are a lot of lessons that we will take from my Dad moving forward. One of the most poignant is that you must love and respect yourself no matter what. You must find what makes you happy, and create your own happiness without relying upon others to do so. By doing so, then we can truly allow our conscious to be our guide
